Digital Neosporin.

I managed to avoid the Facebook bubble for years. Never had one when I lived in NY/NJ, never had one when I was going to college near my hometown. I signed up upon my roommates insistence, but deactivated after exactly 24 hours.  I didn't want to be so accessible, I didn't want to be so on the grid, and I really really didn't want to have to hear and see all of the girls that were much cooler than me on my ex-boyfriend's profile. I didn't want the burden. I didn't want the worry, and the anxiety that would come after.

I declared to the world that I was mysterious.

I couldn't be tagged
I couldn't be mentioned
I didn't have a wall
I wasn't searchable
I wasn't aware of "How totally great that bagel from Einstein's was that morning!"
 No one could poke me
My status updates were kept in my head as thoughts
I couldn't be unfriended on a whim
There weren't 1,000 different engagement photo sessions for me to peruse of bubbly people in love
No pictures of shiny new cars
No photos of weddings, of babies, of new jobs, of trips around the world
Nothing that could possibly contribute positively to my everyday life


Well, that ended in (approximately) the end of 2010.

What I've ultimately learned through social media is that happiness actually feels 10,000x happier when you've gotten 76 Facebook likes and 52 comments.

You really do feel special when your phone beeps incessantly throughout your birthday, each time alerting you that a new 'friend' has written their polite sentiments of congratulations for turning another year older. I sometimes wonder if any of them are actually happy about it.
 

Having 40 different Twitter followers @you with words of encouragement after tweeting about something you wanted but didn't work out makes the bitter sour of the real world taste a lot more sweet. 

It speeds up the healing process.  It's the digital Neosporin. 

Now I have to deal with this bullshit everyday. Because it's the easiest way to communicate, to network, to interact.

CAUTION: When the time comes I am going to post 10,000 engagement pictures, you fucks.